BB 12 - July 15: A Cinderella Story

[PinkWonderGirl]

July 15
A Cinderella Story

The boys were up early cleaning and the girls seemed impressed they had started already. Why can’t I find a guy like this? They cook, they clean, they worry about what to wear for the show. It’s a total role reversal. Pinkie likes it!

Succubus is wearing her sweats with one pant leg pulled up to her knee. What. A. Poser. (For you old people, a poser is when someone tries to be cool copying someone else’s style, such as LL Cool J in this case in 1985, but isn’t.) Succubus says “I have to pack” in two different bedrooms to different peple. And we care, why? Now she’s talking about sleeping arrangements when SOMEONE is gone (don’t concern yourself sweetie).

Lockdown! Britney does not know the song “Pour Some Sugar on It” or “Welcome to the Jungle.” That’s un-American! Britney’s a communist according to Enzo. Or, she’s not 47 and balding like you.

“I'm so bored. I'm going to win HOH, make an alliance with myself, win the veto, take myself off the block, and backdoor myself.” Yes- get rid of yourself Enzo! I am sick of your voice and your cock(iness). “We're the hoes and BB is the pimp!” Great. Another oh so clever comment from Enzo that the geniuses laugh at. At least Kathy was funny (but I don’t think she realized it). She asked BB if they would be trapped in the HOH all day and BB said, “Expect the unexpected.”

Guess what? Succubus was evicted. Bet you never saw that coming! Guess what else? Rachel won HOH. Bet you never saw that coming. It’s a true Cinderella rags-to-riches fairy tale. I am so happy she won. Brendon thinks “America may be rooting for us [Brendon and Rachel, duh]." I am! America or the rest of you haters may not be, but I am and that’s all that matters in PinkLand.

Let the strategizing, bashing and banging begin! I take back everything I said about Brit yesterday. She is pure evil. With Brit leading the brigade (no, not that one) which is made up solely of Monet, they proceed to bash Princess Rachel. She was called an alky for drinking TWO shots of tequila and ONE glass of wine. That’s called three minutes at University of Florida on club night. Oh, AND she took the shots without lime or salt. Damn- Rachel should consider going to AA. Then sweet Brit yells to BB to make sure she doesn’t get the same sheets as Rachel’s when she wins HOH (uhm sure you'll win Brit). She is clear that even if they are washed, she wants a completely new set. Charming.

At this point during BBAD the guys aren’t saying much except for some jokes about the banging that’s going to be happening up there. It’s ahvi, as Rachel would say for obvious, that the boys would do that.

I interrupt this program for important breaking news. I am moving to a different subject for two milliseconds. Lane: “I am going to take a shower since no one is in there.” Hayden: “Want some company?” Hayden may be more than just a pretty face. Matt is busy deciding whether Hayden or Lane would get more attention if they went out trolling for skank together (for you old people, that means picking up girls). Matt is sure Hayden would win. Lane is crying. Don’t be so sure Matt. Older girls aren’t into Justin Bieber (well, except for cradle robbers like me). Lane is my stud! Now back to your regular programming.

Meanwhile up in the HOH, Rachel and Brendon are having wild, uninhibited sex without the covers on. Whoopsy. I meant they are discussing SCIENCE. Science? These two pretty geeks may be made for each other. They apologize to viewers and CBS for not having any action. YET. Rachel says there will be no naughty or frisky, then proceeds to frisk Brendon under the covers.

Here we go with some Brendon/Rachel strategy talk after Brendon pries himself from Rachel’s iron grip. (Could she be another Succubus?) *Warning*Warning*Warning* This is from BBAD that I watched and it will change later for sure. *Warning over* They think Monet and Brit should go up, hoping to get rid of Monet. Are they kidding me? Monet is nothing without Brit! But I don’t even think Monet should go up at all. As though those two lovebirds are listening to me. Enzo is on their drunk radar, but it seems they really want Monet to go. WTF???

Oh. Here we go again. Brit and Monet are acting snippy snippy about Rachel again. Can’t we all just get along? Although in a normal tone their comments wouldn’t sound mean but when you add the snotty sound effects, there is a brand new meaning. “She’s wasted,” “She probably drank the whole bottle,” and of course more obligatory sex remarks. On a lighter note, Andrew doesn’t know what a prophylactic is. He thinks it has something to do with stomach or tookus (Yiddish for butt) problems.

As usual, I am going to tell you what I and the rest of the residents of Pink Land want to happen. Put up Enzo and Brit. If Enzo is saved by someone in the Brigade, the rest of the house will know he has a strong alliance. Put Monet up as a replacement and let the house battle over who to vote out. I may be clueless, but I haven’t seen many problems with Monet aside from following Brit around and being a little uppity. But that is nowhere near Brit’s behavior. Enzo needs to go. Why haven't they realized this yet?

To the tune of Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham!, performed by SuperPink

Enzo leave
Make him go-go
He’s bound to act
Very so low
So kick him out
Bye to Enzo
We’ll be cheering tonight!
I wanna hear that vooooote!!!
Yeah yeah yeah houseguests!

Later, during BBAD, I hear rumblings of Enzo’s name being brought up. Phew. The PinkLand citizens' dream alliance is Brendon, Rachel, Andrew, Kristen, and Ragan. They need those numbers for the next couple vote-outs and then can split up if they want or they can run the house and get everyone else out. Then it’s every HG for themselves.

I am unsure about Kathy since she is riding the fence and Hayden since he is supposedly in that that lame-ass Brigade. And no way Lane, Matt or Enzo, who better be high-tailing it out of there, would ever cross Godbrother “Meow Meow” Enzo. Basically I am saying I am happy with this game if Enzo and Brit go and then let it play out. And on that hopeful note, I am Pink and I am out.